I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I CAN’T TRUST JOSH. I JUST CAN’T GET OVER WHAT HE DID OVER CHRISTMAS. I JUST NEED TO GET THE NERVE UP TO TELL HIM HOW I FEEL AND WHAT I AM FEELING. I KNOW SOMETHING WILL PRESENT ITSELF. SOME WAY SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN AND I WILL BE ABLE TO TELL HIM. I JUST KNOW THAT I WILL HURT HIM LIKE HE DID ME ON CHRISTMAS AND I HATE THAT I HAVE TO DO THAT TO HIM.
ELINORE IS FINALLY FEELING BETTER. I GUESS SHE SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT OUTSIDE LAST NIGHT. GRANDMA PUT HER IN THE GARAGE AND FORGOT ABOUT HER. I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE BECAUSE SHE WAS UNDER THE BED ALL DAY SO I JUST ASSUMED THAT SHE WAS UNDER THERE AGAIN LAST NIGHT. I AM SUCH A BAD MOM LOL. I HAVE DECIDED THAT WHEN I FINALLY MOVE OUT I WILL LEAVE SYLVIA BEHIND BECAUSE SHE LOVES IT THERE AND MY GRANDPA LOVES HER. I WILL BE SAD BUT I WILL DO IT FOR HER. I GUESS IT IS WHAT PARENTS HAVE TO DO AT TIMES.
MISTI AND I HAD A FALLING OUT ON FRIDAY AND I STILL FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. WE ARE OK NOW BUT WE JUST BOTH GOT TO EACH OTHER. NOW SAYING THAT IT ISN’T HARD FOR US TO PISS EACH OTHER OFF. WE KNOW THE BUTTONS TO PUSH AND WE BOTH ARE HOT HEADS AT TIMES. SO THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, BUT LIKE ALWAYS GIVE IT A DAY OR TWO AND WE ARE BOTH OK. PART OF THE PROBLEM IS THE FACT THAT WE SPEND ALL DAY TOGETHER AND ON WEEKENDS. I THINK WE TEND TO SMOTHER EACH OTHER. SO WE SPENT THE WEEKEND APART AND IT HELPED US BOTH. I KNOW I MISSED HER AND THAT SHE MISSED ME BUT IT WAS MUCH NEEDED FOR ME. I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I LOVE HER AND DESPITE EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON FROM TIME TO TIME SHE IS STILL MY BEST FRIEND AND ALWAYS WILL BE, AND I WILL STAND BEHIND ANY DECISION THAT SHE MAKES EVEN IF I DON’T AGREE WITH THEM.

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