JOSH WAS IN TOWN YESTERDAY AND WE WENT TO DINNER. I JUST DON’T KNOW THAT I COULD EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN. IT IS SO HARD BECAUSE I WISH AT TIMES THAT I COULD GO BACK IN TIME AND CHANGE ALOT OF THINGS BUT I CAN’T. I KNOW JOSH HAS FINALLY REALIZED WHAT I DID FOR HIM AND HE FEELS BAD THAT HE PROBABLY HAS LOST THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM. I WISH WITH ALL OF ME THAT I COULD TRUST HIM AGAIN. I WANT TO BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I COULD AFTER ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED. IT IS AMAZING HOW TIME HAS CHANGED THE WAY I LOOK AT THINGS. I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE ABLE TO TURN DOWN HIM IF HE SAID HE WANTED TO WORK THINGS OUT. I AM AMAZED HOW TIME HAS CHANGED A LOT OF THINGS IN MY HEAD.
I ALSO HAVE TO THANK MISTI FOR STICKING AROUND THROUGH ALL OF MY CRAZINESS. I HAVE RATHER BITCHY LATELY AND SHE JUST TAKES IT IN STRIDE. I AM SO GLAD SHE IS IN MY LIFE SHE CAN MAKE ME SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. I KNOW SHE IS HAVING A HARD TIME RIGHT NOW AND I JUST HOPE THAT I CAN HELP HER LIKE SHE HAS HELPED ME. SHE WILL NEVER KNOW THE PLACE SHE HAS IN HEART AND HOW MUCH SHE HAS HELPED ME STAY CLEAN AND SOBER LATELY. SO THANK YOU!!!!!!

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