This week for adoption thoughts I am going to write about something that was said to me that made me sad for many reasons but I also wanted to see how other people would feel if this was said to them. A few weeks ago I had a friend who adopted her first child tell me that she felt like I judge her because of her parenting and that she bet I was glad that I didn’t place my daughter with her.
First off I don’t ever judge anyone and their parenting choices because they are doing what they know and just because my parenting choice was different than theirs doesn’t mean that mine was right and that their choices are wrong or vice versa. All I know about parenting is that the choice I made was right for me and my daughter other than that as long as you aren’t abusing your kids I don’t care the choices you make for your family.
Now on to when she said that she bet I was glad I didn’t place my daughter with her. I am glad I didn’t place my daughter with her because my daughter wasn’t meant for her or her family. She was meant to be where she is. If my daughter had been meant for her than that is where I would have placed her but she wasn’t. Like I said before I don’t judge anyone on their choices and if I had to go through it all again I know I would place my child where she was meant to be and it wouldn’t matter who those people were.
One thing that has always bothered me about mothers is how they are always judging each other. Being a mom is a hard job so instead of judging we should be helping each other. I have always said that I wouldn’t want to raise kids in today’s world so I know I would have any children but if I do change my mind I would want help from people who have done it before me. I always get sad when I mom’s attacking each other because of choices they make for their family. You may not agree with someone’s choices but that doesn’t make the wrong and that is no reason to judge them or bully them. This post went somewhere I didn’t think it would but I am going to leave it because it is true and something I think needs to be said.
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2 Comments on Adoption Thoughts-Judging
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So well said. We women are so often our own worst enemies. Thank you for this excellent post!-The Dose Girls
thedoseofreality recently posted…Why This Blog Has Been A Mess
I am glad I am not the only one who see it this way!
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