I got this email at work and it made me smile so I figured you guys would like it as well!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Noah,
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. Not cool.
Sincerely, Unicorns
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
pumping through them, they can never get an erection.
Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
Sincerely, The Titanic
Dear America ,
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
Sincerely, Canada
Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely, Google
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle
Dear Rose,
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
Sincerely, Jack
PS, you totally let go.
Dear Girls Who Have Been Dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
Sincerely, BP
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Unimpressed
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear Batman,
What exactly was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore
Dear Ugly People,
You’re welcome.
Sincerely, Alcohol
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because
some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely, The Mayans
Dear American People,
Don’t you just hate immigrants?
Sincerely, Native Americans
Dear Smart Phones,
Please stop spell-checking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Sincerely, Every Smart Phone User
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely, The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Man,
It’s kinda cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely, Elephant
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I
was here first.
Sincerely, Dr. Pepper
