IT SEEMS LIKE ALL I DO IS WORK, GO TO THE GYM AND GO HOME AND DEAL WITH DRAMA THERE. OH WELL THAT IS LIFE FOR ME ANYMORE. IT IS VERY RARE THAT THERE ISN’T SOME KIND OF DRAMA AT HOME OR AT WORK. OH WELL THAT IS HOW LIFE IS AT TIMES. I GUESS IT IS PART OF BEING A GROWN UP. I HAVE DECIDED THAT IF THIS IS BEING AN ADULT I DON’T WANNA DO IT ANYMORE. I AM TIRED OF IT ALL. I WISH IT WAS JUST THAT EASY TO NOT HAVE TO WORK AND DEAL WITH THE DAILY STRESSES OF LIFE. I KNOW THAT I AM TRYING TO DEAL WITH THIS DIFFERENTLY NOW AND THAT IS HELPING ME STAY MORE POSITIVE MOST OF THE TIME. SO TIMES I HAVE SLIP UPS BUT MORE THAN NOT I AM DOING REALLY WELL AT STAYING POSITIVE. I HAVE ALSO COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I AM NO LONGER GOING TO MAKE OTHER PEOPLES PROBLEMS MY OWN. I DON’T THE TIME ANYMORE TO WORRY ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE’S PROBLEMS. I AM GOING TO FOCUS ON MY FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE AND FIX MY LIFE AND MAKE MYSELF HAPPY THIS MAY SEEM SELFISH BUT AT TIMES IT IS WHAT HAS TO BE DONE IN ORDER TO SURVIVE AND NOT BE SO STRESSED ALL THE TIME.
JOSH IS ON HIS WAY TO FLORIDA SO THAT SHOULD BE INTERESTING TO SEE HOW HE IS WITH ME WHILE HE IS DOWN THERE. YOU NEVER KNOW WITH HIM ANYMORE. SO FAR HE IS DOING REALLY WELL BUT I AM ALWAYS HESITATE OF FLORIDA BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE MOST OF THE STUFF THAT WENT WRONG STARTED. I CAN STILL REMEMBER THAT NIGHT LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY AND NOW LOW HE MADE ME FEEL ABOUT IT ALL. ALL OF OUR PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN CAUSED BY HIM DRINKING AND HIM BEING A MEAN DRUNK TO ME. IF HE CAN’T CONTROL HIS DRINKING AND HOW HE ACTS THEN HE HAS NO REASON TO BE DRINKING. HE HAS BEEN DRINKING LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW HIS LIMIT AND YET AT TIMES HE STILL DRINKS TO THE POINT WHERE HE DOESN’T REMEMBER THINGS AND THAT IS WHEN WE ALWAYS FIGHT AND HIT A ROUGH PATCH BECAUSE HE LIES ABOUT IT. WHAT HE DOESN’T GET IT IS I ALWAYS FIND OUT AND I MOST OF THE TIME ALREADY KNOW BECAUSE I TELL THE CHANGE IN HIM. I HOPE HE HAS LEARNED TO CONTROL IT OR DON’T DRINK CAUSE I WON’T DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE. HE ALREADY KNOWS ALL THIS I JUST HOPE THAT HE IS TAKING ME SERIOUS THIS TIME! LIKE I TOLD HIM THE LAST TIME HE WAS HOME HE JUST NEEDS TO BE HONEST WITH EVERYTHING AND IF HE CAN’T DO THAT THEN HE IS WASTING MY TIME AND HIS OWN TIME! HONEST IS ALL I ASK FOR ANYMORE.
THE GIRLS ARE BEING THERE USUAL MONSTER SELVES. THEY ARE LOVING THE OUT DOORS AND NOW I AM STUCK WITH THE PROBLEM THAT THEY WON’T EVER WANT TO BE INSIDE CATS AGAIN. IF I EVER MOVE OUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITH THEM. I WILL BE SAD IF I LEAVE THEM BUT THEY WILL BE SAD IF I TAKE THEM WITH ME. I KNOW ELINORE WILL BE SAD EITHER WAY BUT I AM SURE SYLVIA WILL ADJUST TO ME NOT BEING AROUND. WHO KNEW TWO CATS WHO WERE SCARED TO DEALTH OF BEING OUTSIDE WOULD START TO LOVE IT SO MUCH! THEY WOULD RATHER BE OUT THERE THEN IN THE HOUSE. THEY NEVER STRAY VERY FAR FROM HOME AND THEY WILL COME WHEN I CALL THEM. I CAN REMEMBER HOW I WAS WITH THEM WHEN THEY FIRST STARTED GOING OUT ALL WORRIED AND COULDN’T SLEEP BUT NOW I COULD REALLY CARE LESS. HALF THE TIME I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF THEY ARE IN OR OUT. THEY ALWAYS COME TO MY WINDOW WHEN THEY ARE READY TO COME IN.
GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH CHRIS AND LACHELLE ANYMORE. CHRIS GONE TO SUMMER CAMP WITH THE GUARD AND LACHELLE SHIPS TO BASIC TRAINING ON TUESDAY OF NEXT WEEK. SHE STILL HAS TO COME AND GET HER STUFF FROM THE HOUSE AND MY STORAGE UNIT BUT WE WILL SEE IF SHE EVEN COMES AND GETS IT. GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT IS GOING THROUGH HER HEAD AT TIMES. I HAVE NO IDEA IF THEY ARE ON OR OFF. I AM JUST HOPING WHILE SHE IS GONE THAT I CAN GET CHRIS TO SEE THAT THERE ARE “NORMAL” GIRLS OUT THERE. I WANT TO MAKE HIM SEE THAT HE DOESN’T NEED TO DEAL WITH HER CRAP ANYMORE. I KNOW IF HE LOOKS HE CAN FIND SOMEONE BETTER THAN HER. I WOULD EVEN TAKE JAIL BAIT BACK AGAIN. SHE WAS TEN TIMES BETTER THAN LACHELLE WAS THAT IS FOR SURE!!!!!