No. 10
Golfer: “I think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.”
Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long?”
No. 9
Golfer: “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”
Caddy: “Try heaven, you’ve already moved most of the earth.”
No. 8
Golfer: “Do you think my game is improving?”
Caddy: “Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now.”
No. 7
Golfer: “Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?”
Caddy: “Eventually.”
No. 6
Golfer: “You’ve got to be the worst caddy in the world.”
Caddy: “I don’t think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence.”
No. 5
Golfer: “Please stop checking your watch all the time. It’s too much of a distraction.”
Caddy: “It’s not a watch. it’s a compass.”
No. 4
Golfer: “How do you like my game?”
Caddy: “Very good, sir, but personally, I prefer golf.”
No. 3
Golfer: “Do you think it’s a sin to play on Sunday?”
Caddy: “The way you play, sir, it’s a sin to play on any day.”
No. 2
Golfer: “This is the worst course I’ve ever played on.”
Caddy: “This isn’t the golf course. We left that an hour ago.”
And the No. 1 best caddy comment:
Golfer: “That can’t be my ball, it’s too old.”
Caddy: “It’s been a long time since we teed off, sir.”
THE 10 BEST CADDY COMMENTS
YOU NEED TO READ THIS
Why are We Bankrupt?
Maybe it is time to start a war on the IDIOTS IN WASHINGTON. If they want their votes, then I think we should have some designation at the polls for every incumbent that is running for office so we can vote them out.
WHY ARE WE BANKRUPT?
You think the war in Iraq is costing us too much? Read this: Boy, was I confused. I have been hammered with the propaganda that it is the Iraq war and the war on terror that is bankrupting us. I now find that to be RIDICULOUS. I hope the following 14 reasons are forwarded over and over again until they are read so many times that the reader gets sick of reading them. I also have included the URL’s for verification of all the following facts.
1. $11 to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year by state governments. Verify at: http://tinyurl.com/zob77
2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens. Verify at: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML
3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens. Verify at: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.HTML
4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of English! Verify at: http://transcripts.CNN.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.HTML
5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies. Verify at http://transcripts.CNN.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML
6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens. Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/%20T RANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01..HTML
7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens. Verify at: http://transcripts.CNN.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML
8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the American taxpayers. Verify at: http://premium.CNN.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt..01.HTML
9. $200 Billion dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens. Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSC%20RI%20PTS/0604/01/ldt.01.HTML
10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that’s two and a half times that of non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US . Verify at: http://transcripts.CNN.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.HTML
11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from Terrorist Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroin and marijuana, crossed into the U.S. from the Southern border. Verify at: Homeland Security Report: http://tinyurl..com/t9sht
12. The National policy Institute, estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 - $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 - $46 billion annually over a five year period.’ Verify at: http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/PDF/deportation.PDF
13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances to their countries of origin. Verify at: http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm
14. ‘The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly 1 million sex crimes Committed by Illegal aliens In The United States .’ Verify at: http: // www.drdsk.com/articleshtml
The total cost is a whopping $ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR…..
AND IF YOU’RE LIKE ME HAVING TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING THIS AMOUNT OF MONEY; IT IS $338,300,000,000.00 WHICH WOULD BE ENOUGH TO FULLY STIMULATE THE ECONOMY OF ALL THE CITIZENS OF THIS COUNTRY. Are we THAT stupid? YES WE ARE…..FOR LETTING THOSE IN THE U.S. CONGRESS GET AWAY WITH LETTING THIS HAPPEN YEAR AFTER YEAR!!!!!
If this doesn’t bother you then just delete the message. If, on the other hand, it does raise the hair on the back of your neck, I hope you forward it to every legal resident in the country including every elected representative in Washington, D.C. - five times a week for as long as it takes to restore some semblance of intelligence in our policies and enforcement thereof.
VERY GOOD POINTS
CBS let him get away with this even though he’s right
Andy Rooney said on ’60 Minutes’ a few weeks back:
‘I don’t think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens…Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts!
ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE ?
I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion..
I have the right ‘NOT’ to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.
When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.
I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it inEnglish! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speakEnglish!
My father and grandfather didn’t die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.
I think thepolice should have every right to shoot you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can’t understand the word ‘freeze’ or ‘stop’ inEnglish, see the above lines..
I don’t think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.
We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.
I don’t hatethe rich I don’t pity the poor
I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn’t stop you from watching them.
I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that’s better, and put your name on the building.
It doesn’t take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say ‘NO!’
I think tattoos and piercings are fine if you want them, but please don’t pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don’t want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!
I am sick of ‘Political Correctness.’ I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa so how can they be ‘African-Americans’? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don’t go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else.
And if you don’t like my point of view, tough…
I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE
TO THE FLAG,
OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,
AND TO THE REPUBLIC,
FOR WHICH IT STANDS,
ONE NATION UNDER GOD,
INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTYAND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
I was asked to send this on if I agree or delete if I don’t. It is said that 86% ofAmericans believe in God.. Therefore I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having ‘In God We Trust’ on our money and having ‘God’ in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don’t we just tell the 14% to BE QUIET!!!
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy .. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He’d have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they’d have to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a ‘silent’ debate.
On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other.
The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.
The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.
Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.
The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.
The rabbi pulled out an apple.
With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said
that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy !!!
Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, ‘First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.
‘Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us.
‘I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.
‘He bested me at every move and I could not continue.’
Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he’d won.
‘I haven’t a clue’ the rabbi said. ‘First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.
‘Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.’
‘And then what?’ asked a woman.
‘Who knows?’ said the rabbi. ‘He took out his lunch so I took out mine.’
http://theworldasiseeitbloganddesigns.com/several-centuries-ago-pope-decreed-that/
