Well it is about time I let everyone in blogland know what is going on and about my letters to Josh. I decided that it was time to let Josh go because I was never going to be able to trust him after he left me on Christmas Day in 2008. We had gotten back together and I was really trying to trust him again and find the love I once had for him but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t find it. I wish that I could find it because I feel like I am losing one of my really good friends but he says that he can’t be friends with me once the divorce is final. I am really struggling with everything because the only person that really is supporting me is Misti. I am tired of my grandparents telling me that they told me not to marry him. I mean they are right but they don’t have to keep throwing it in my face. Is it really that hard to be supportive and pay a little bit of attention to me when I need it. They are both so wrapped up in my brothers life that they don’t care about what is going on with me and that I need someone just to be around me. For the first time in my life I like being at work because there are people here and Misti is here. When I am at work I don’t feel like the world has forgotten about me. I know people haven’t but that is how it feels right now.
So Josh called me today at work because I had text him to find out how we were going to work out the phone bill this month and when he called me back he was a total jerk. When just last night he was begging me to come back to him?!?!? He leaves me so confused and even more depressed than I have been. I don’t know where to go or what to do from here.
Now on to the Monday MeMe that actually kinds of fits with this update. Supah’s MeMe asked what our favorite quote is and why we like it so much.
MyHotComments
I found this quote a few years back and I realize more than anything now that it so true. My whole life I have done things because I had to do them and now I realize that all of my trials have made me strong. I would be the women I am today with out every crapy thing that has ever happened to me. I think I will finally except that I am strong but also say I am strong because I have no other choice but to be!
