This week I have chosen the following prompt from Mama’s Losin It. 
1.) Describe what you would change about yourself if you could.

If I could change something about myself I think the first thing I would change would be the fact that I have Multiple Sclerosis.  Now don’t get me wrong most days I am ok with having it but lately I am really just tired of being sick and not being able to do the things that normal 25 year old’s do.  I am too tired all the time anymore to do anything.  It is all I can do most days to get out of bed and go to work.  I am  currently on a drug right now that could possible kill me.  What 25 year old wants to wonder if today is the day that they will develop PML or is this the day I will wake up and not be able to walk or see.  The worries and unknowns of the disease on some days to much to handle.  Most days I am ok with it and doesn’t get to me but lately it seems like things are getting worse and now I have all the fears and what not back on my plate.
Most people in my life are going to read this maybe get mad or hurt that I don’t tell them what is really going on but I know me being sick scares them.  I am ok with that I mean hell I have been dealing with this damn disease since I was at least 15 ( that was when I got diagnosed so I am sure it was since I was much younger).  Just today things are getting scary again for me because I see my life slipping away and everything I have worked for could be gone soon if it doesn’t slow down and or stop.
Well that is what I would change if I could change anything about myself.