JOSH

3 Years

I posted this on my private blog but I don’t care anymore if he reads this so I am going post it here as well!

It is hard for me to believe that today will make it three years that I have been married.  Now that being said we have never had a real anniversary because the first year I was sick in bed from a migraine, year two we were separated and this year three we are officially done just not divorced yet.  For some reason this year is really hard for me.  It is probably because I know him and I won’t ever speak after things are done because of how he treats me and how is always trying to get into my business.  I guess I will never understand why he feels the need to still try and tell me what to do and have to know everything that is going on in my life.  I am going to go through his stuff this weekend and get rid of it all in the next few weeks.  I am done playing his games and he doesn’t think I will do it.  So when he does come to get what was in my storage unit it will all be gone.  I just have no desire to see him or to even deal with him anymore.  I hope he can be happy but I doubt that he will ever truly be happy because of how he treats people.  He doesn’t seem to get why people don’t stay around him very long.  Even his “friends” don’t stay around him very long.  One of his “friends” that knows Tim asked Tim what I was really like because “he knows how Josh is”.  It makes me really wonder what Josh has told everyone about me.  It hurts knowing that someone who supposedly “loved” me can say mean things about to people.  All I know is he has some issues and until he gets them figured out no one will be around him for very long! 

That is all for this post but I am sure I will think of more to write later and I will just update it then

Sick & Tired Of People . . .

I am super tired of people saying something and then not doing it!  This is happening a lot with a certain person and let me tell you I am so done with it.  If they don’t get it soon they will be cut out of my life for good because saying something and not doing it is the one thing that truly gets on my nerves.  I am the type of person that always does what I say I am going to do.  I just don’t get how people can say things that they have no intention of doing.  This was always a problem in my marriage as well.  He would always say he was going to do something or even call me and he never would.  He never seemed to get why I would get mad at him.  If you are going to waste your breath saying it then you should follow through with it that is for sure.  If you have no intention of doing something then don’t waste your breath saying it!

Ok that is enough of that rant.  I hope everyone had a great Easter.  Mine was lonely because my grandparents decided they were going to go on a cruise right now.  I made my own boiled eggs and my grandma did put a few things in our baskets and hid them from us until today when she called and said where they were.  It was really nice of her to do something like that.  My brother got a pair of North Carolina shorts and grandpa made her give me money back that I had been paying my brother for the laptop that Josh now has.  He made told her to give it to me because he knows how much I am struggling with playing all the bills and that credit card that Josh has run up to over $10,000 but that is a whole other post.

I hope everyone has a great Monday!!!!!

Finally This Week Is Half Done!

I want to thank everyone for all the kind words and for sticking behind me.  It is nice to know that I am really not alone in all of this.  Now not only do I have Misti, and Jill I also have people who read my blog and are there if I just need to vent or blow off some steam.  I am so thankful that people can see like I do why I can’t trust him again and why it just won’t work.  I feel like I am on a roller coaster with him anymore.  One day he is nice and caring and then other days he is a total ass about everything.  I just feel like I am going crazy.  Right now he is being nice to me and I hope that is stays this way but god only knows when he will be a dick head to me again.  I am trying to hard to stay positive about the whole situation and know that in the end it will be okay but when he is a jerk it just makes me feel so bad about everything.  I hope that he will figure it out soon or I am going to have to stop talking to him because I can’t continue to do this whole up and down thing with him anymore.  That is it for today because my brain is tired and I am emotional exhausted. 

I hope everyone is having a great day!