About Me – The World As I See It

My Sleeping Problems

October 7, 2013

Sleeping Problems

So I haven’t ever written about my problems with sleeping on this blog but I feel I need to write about it because there may be other people out there struggling with the same things. I also hope that someone out there may have some suggestions for things I have tried yet to try to help me sleep. I have always had problems sleeping but in the last few years it has gotten 100 times worse.

I first really started to notice my sleeping problems when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was 15 or 16. I have always had problems sleeping but I really started to notice them in high school and college. From the age of about 16 I was given prescriptions for Ambien and Sonata which are both sleeping pills. So at this point those two no longer work for me. When I was in my mid twenties they prescribed me Lunesta which for me was a wonder drug because for the first time I was able to sleep and I didn’t seem to get used to them.

I took those on and off for years. The insurance I know have through work refuses to pay for them and there is no way I can afford to pay over $200 a month for them so I haven’t been able to get them. Since I haven’t been able to get them I have had to start trying all the over the counter sleeping medications and I haven’t had much luck with them.

I have tried taking Melatonin and I will still take it sometimes but I have found that I have to take so much of it to get me to sleep that I end up with a huge headache the next morning. The only thing I have found that works is taking a combination if Tylenol PM & Ibuprofen PM along with a time released Melatonin pill to help me stay asleep longer because lately I manage to take enough stuff to fall asleep but I can’t stay asleep to save me life.

I have also stopped watching TV after work and I try not to use my cell phone once I am home so that I can try to wind down from the day but no matter what I try nothing seems to be working for me.

Does anyone know of anything else I can try to use for sleep? I will take any and all suggestions at this point!

30 THINGS ABOUT MY INVISIBLE ILLNESS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

September 18, 2013

30 Things

1. The illness I live with is: Multiple Sclerosis
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: Either 2000 or 2001 I can’t remember what year to be exact
3. But I had symptoms since: Since I was in the 5th grade.
4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: Learning to just take everyday as it comes because I never know what the day will hold for me
5. Most people assume: That I am lazy and/or antisocial
6. The hardest part about mornings are: Falling asleep at 4:00 AM and having to get up at 6:00 AM.
7. My favorite medical TV show is: I don’t really watch any medical tv shows now that Discovery Health isn’t on the air.
8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is: My iPhone calendar
9. The hardest part about nights are: Being awake all night and/or being in pain.
10. Each day I take _10_ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please) This is only if I am not in pain. If I am in pain it can be more like 15 or so depending on what I have to take
11. Regarding alternative treatments I: I am skeptical of them but depending on what it is I may be up for trying them.
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: Invisible
13. Regarding working and career: I work full time and I have days where I wonder why.
14. People would be surprised to know: I don’t think I am have any secrets…
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: Having people understand
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: I really can’t think of anything
17. The commercials about my illness: There aren’t any that I have seen
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I don’t really miss anything because I have diagnosed for so long that this is my normal now.
19. It was really hard to have to give up: I haven’t really had to give up anything because I was diagnosed so young that everything is normal for me.
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: Blogging and blog design
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: I would sleep
22. My illness has taught me: Not to judge a book by its cover and also patience
23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: But you don’t look sick
24. But I love it when people: Take time to ask questions and understand.
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: “You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”
26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: Knowledge is power
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: How many rude and selfish people are in the world
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: ????
29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: I want to raise awareness
30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: Like you care and want to learn a little bit more about me.

Day 8- A Moment You Felt Most Satisfied In Your Life #30DayChallenge

February 5, 2013

Today’s topic is a moment that I felt most satisfied in my life. As I thought about this topic for the past few days I really can’t think of anything that truly fits. The one thing that kept coming in my mind was when I placed my daughter for adoption. Now this was the hardest thing I have ever done but it was satisfying in the sense that I know I did the right thing for her. It is hard for me to say that because it was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. That day will forever be the worst day of my life but it also proved that I can do anything that I put my mind too.

I also think that part of the reason that comes to mind is because it has been almost 9 years now and I in a totally different place when it comes to how I look at the adoption and the place I am at with all of it. That is really the only thing I can think of. Let me know if you have any questions!

5 Random Facts About Me

January 31, 2013

This week for the writers workshop I am going to give everyone 5 random facts about me & my family.

I was raised by my grandparents from about the age of 8 on.
I found my mom after I had my daughter and she was at my wedding but since that day I haven’t had contact with her.
I was 22 when I first drank alcohol. I am still not a big drinker in fact I don’t even remember how long it has been since I drank.
I have never smoked.
I have always been super shy and I talking on the phone.

Those are 5 random things that I don’t think people know about me. Of course there are many more things that I could have listed but I didn’t really want to create drama or anything like that. I am not sure who reads my blog so I am not comfortable being 100% honest with everyone right now.

What is one random fact about you?

Is there anything you would like to see on my blog or any topic you would like me to write about?

One Choice

September 20, 2012

I want to start out by saying that this post is all over because I really struggled with finding the words to say what I am thinking. I hate that I can’t find the right words to say what I am thinking but this is as good as it is going to get.

There is one choice that I have made in my life that changed the course of my life. I look back now and it amazes me that once choice can change the whole path of your life. The choice that changed my life was when I got pregnant. Had I not gotten pregnant I would be a RN right now and probably working on getting my Masters in nursing but I am no where near there. I also am so glad that I am I did get pregnant because I has turned me into who I am today. I may not be where I thought I would be job wise but I am where I need to be in so many other ways. By getting pregnant and placing my daughter for adoption I know just how strong I am and I know I can do anything that needs to be done no matter how hard it seems at the time. I can’t even imagine how different I would be if I hadn’t been through what I have been through. At the time I thought that my life was over and that it was the worst thing that could have happened. In the end it was just what I needed in life. I am such a better person since I have gone through everything the past 7 years. I can’t even imagine what I would be like if I hadn’t been through everything.

I have learned so much and I also know so much more about myself and what I can deal with. I now know that I can pretty much deal with anything and get through anything that is put in front of me. It is amazing to me how life can be so different from what you thought it would be and yet I know that this is where I am meant to be. I know that I was meant to go through what I have because with out going through everything I never would have learned how the world works.

Before I got pregnant I didn’t know how cruel the world can be and the struggles that others go through. Going through the adoption process opened my eyes to the struggles of others and how things are in rest of the world. I have found that as much as I love nursing I feel that I am meant to work in the adoption world. I guess when it comes down to it that by getting pregnant it made me grow up and has made me into the person I am now.

What is the one choice that changed your life?

Where Am I . . .

January 11, 2012

Are you where you thought you would be in life?

I am not where I thought I would be in life. The plans I had made when I was younger all went out the window when I got pregnant and placed my daughter for adoption or when I got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was 15. I always thought that by the time I was in my late 20’s I would have my RN and either be a traveling nurse or work in the ER. I never would have guessed that I would be living at home again, going through a divorce, and working as a receptionist. I also never would have guessed that I would have had a child and placed her for adoption.

It is crazy to me how my life has turned out and what I have been through. I don’t think there is anyway that anyone could ever guess where their lives was going to go. I am hoping that I will be able to live my dream one day and work in the ER or even Life Flight.

I don’t regret anything that has happened in my life because if I didn’t go through everything I have gone through I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t change anything about how my life is because I have grown and I am truly happy with who I am today.