This week I am going to write another post in my adoption thoughts series. This post is going to be about my current thoughts on people telling me “I could never do what you did” and “You are so strong”. There are times when hearing these things don’t really bother me and I will just say thank you to them but then there are times like right now when hearing both of these things just get on my nerves.
When people say “I could never do what you did” it usually leaves me just staring at them because how do you really respond to something like that. Up until recently I haven’t really said things back to anyone but now I almost always say “unless you have been in the same situation you don’t know what you would be able to do”. I know people just say this because they don’t think they could do it but I didn’t think I could do it either until I was in the situation. I never thought that placing a baby for adoption was something I could handle but once I was pregnant with her I knew without a doubt that it was something that I had to do. I mean who grows up thinking that they are going to give birth to a child and then place that child for adoption.
Now when people tell me I am so strong this quote always pops into my head:
Being strong is always relative to the person. Like the quote says you won’t know what you can do or how strong you are until you have to face it and deal with whatever is happening to you.
I guess the whole thing for me is that I just did what I had to do in the situation that I found myself in. I know in parts of this post I sound harsh but this is how I feel some days and I don’t want to sugarcoat things or make is seem like these things don’t really bother me. I have spent many years not talking about how things make me feel and I don’t want to do that anymore. For the first time I want to be honest with others and even myself.
If there is anything about adoption that you would like me to talk about please let me know and I will work on it for you.
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18 Comments on Adoption Thoughts: Things People Say
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I like how you are owning your experience and not allowing backhanded comments to bother you. You’re right. Nobody knows what they would do in that situation. Nobody knows how it is to be another person with all of their experiences and values. You made the best decision for you and your baby and the one that you felt you could live with the most. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks!
Christen recently posted…Pay It Forward Friday Post: A PIFF Dilemma
I agree it just gets hard from time to time when it is pretty much what I hear when I tell people who don’t know about it already.
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs
Hi Margaret. I don’t know your whole story, but I think you have courage for what you did. Not everyone is strong enough to place their child up for adoption for whatever reason.
Devon recently posted…Sweet Pea and Avocado Frozen Pops with Libby’s #BuildingBlocks
I agree…Thank you for stopping by!
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Summertime & Multiple Sclerosis
Hi Margaret! I can imagine that those statements leave you feeling a little annoyed. Like the quote above says, you really never know how strong you can be until being strong is your only option. I commend you for this. 🙂
Amber Albright recently posted…Fab Friday!! 6/20/14
Thank you!
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs
What a powerful quote! I really agree with you. I have been faced with some of my own challenges in life, and you really don’t know what you will do until you are in that situation. You also have no idea how strong you can be until you are faced with something, and overcoming it is the only option. Great post!
Kristen Kelly recently posted…Mommy Got a Tattoo
I know I just wish people would take a step back and think about things before the judge each other.
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs
I like it when you said: “unless you have been in the same situation you don’t know what you would be able to do”… That is very true. I admire you for making such a difficult decision
Thank you!
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs
Everyone makes their own life choices. It does not mean others can judge that decision. You do what is best for you. I admire you in your choices and being authentic in your stories of it. Some women would be hiding it. I hope your story will help others in whatever decision they are faced in life.
Thank you! I used to hid it up until a few months ago when I figured I would just write about and hope that it can help someone.
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Summertime & Multiple Sclerosis
Well said, love! I think your honesty and your series on adoption will help a lot of people! Well done and keep up the great work! xoxo
MryJhnsn ( recently posted…Summer Learning with @K5Learning! #sponsored
Thank you!
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs
I admire you so much 🙂 keep doing what your doing and thank you for sharing!
Thank you!
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs
I really commend you for making that decision. Even though I think mostly people are just trying to relate, when it comes to a situation that is so personal and specific, it’s best to leave some things unsaid!
I agree 100%
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Happy To Be Alive, Because by Chelsea Jacobs