I haven’t ever talked about today’s topic because I know there are people who are passionate about this topic and before now I have never been in a place where I would be able to handle any backlash that comes from this post. I finally am in a good spot emotionally that I know I can handle anything that comes from me posting this. Now before I get into the topic of this post I want to let everyone know that I am not writing this to anyone in particular I am just venting.
Anyway lets get on to the topic of this post. I want to write about people in the adoption world who believe that everyone who places their children for adoption was forced and/or coerced. I want to talk about this because I am not the type of person who can be forced to do anything let alone place my daughter for adoption.
Now I know that people were and probably still are forced to place their children for adoption. I also agree with the fact that girls need to know that this can happen but they don’t need to try and convince those of us that placed our children that we were forced to place them. While I agree people need to know I don’t agree with people trying to convince those of us who weren’t forced or tricked into placing our children like they were.
I am just tired of being told how I should feel and what I should believe when it comes to the adoption of my daughter. I knew what I was doing when I made the choice that I did. I wanted to give her everything that I didn’t know if I could ever give her. I wanted her to have a stable environment, two parents in the home, siblings, and things like that. My childhood wasn’t stable up until my grandparents got us full time and I didn’t want her to feel what it feels like to not know what was going to happen from day to day like I did.
I hope that this post made some sort of sense. If you have any thoughts about this please let me know because I am always open to talking about things and hearing other peoples opinions on things but like I said trying to convince me I was forced to placed her isn’t going to get any response from me.
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10 Comments on Stop Trying To Convince Me
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Hey Margaret,
Bravo for being brave and being honest here today. I am the mum of a 16 and 11 y/o, both of them have friends who were adopted. Each of these children knows that they were adopted and two of them have met their birth parents, and one has a continuing relationship with them. The kids are all amazing, and are grateful for all the parents in their lives. I commend your courage here today, one day I will be able to write about my daughter and the bullying she had to endure…. Have a beautiful evening…
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It was a tough post to write but I am glad I got it off my chest. It is something I have felt for years like I said. I know in time you will reach a point where you can write the post you need to write as well. I wish more birthmoms were able to not let people push them into being silent.
There is nothing more loving and unselfish then doing what’s right for your children, even if it means giving them up. You are one strong lady and you should be very proud. <3
MryJhnsn ( recently posted…Finally, David Gray, Back in the World with New Album – Mutineers #sponsored
Thank you!
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Most Challenging
Wow! It takes a great deal of strength and maturity to do what you did, especially at such a young age. It is important when making a decision as important to that to do what is best, and not let the opinions of others sway you.
Kristen Kelly recently posted…The 5 Things I Really Want This Mother’s Day
I agree. It is just hard for me to see people who were forced to place trying to convince those of us who chose to place. I wish there was more support no matter how adoption came into your life.
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Most Challenging
I read your adoption story and I don;t think you were forced. You had an instinct on what to do and you followed your heart. It was hard but you did what you had to do. Your daughter was meant to be with her new family, you were delivering her to her beautiful fate. I don’t think she will ever hate you. I think if she looks for you someday she will find this blog and understand completely! You’re a great mom.
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Thank you! I hope that is the case but you can’t help but wonder what the future holds some days.
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Most Challenging
I agree… I know several people who have adopted children and know the child’s story… Mothers give out of love, and adoptive families accept the child with love.
Meeghan recently posted…What is concept of book?
I agree with you 100%
Margaret Tidwell recently posted…Thankful by Shelley Shepard Gray