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Adoption Statistics-Guest Post

Adoption Awareness Month

Unless you have adopted, or are planning to do so, you may know little about children who need homes. Given that it is adoption awareness month, it seems only appropriate to give some general information about the world of adoption.

According to the U.S. Department of Human Services, there are 1.8 million adopted children in the United States; these children account for 2 percent of all children in the United States. Of those:

• 75 percent were adopted domestically.

• 37 percent through the foster care system.

• 38 percent through private services.

• 25 percent were adopted internationally.

About 75 percent of children are adopted by non-family members while 25 percent are adopted by relatives; seventeen percent of those adopted by relatives are adopted through the foster care system and 37 are adopted through private mediums.

There are several ways to adopt in the United States. One way is through the foster care system. In 2010, there were 107,000 children in the foster care system waiting to be adopted and 53,000 were adopted. The general process is that a state-licensed agency (either for-profit or non-profit) matches prospective parents to children in need of a home. Though substantially cheaper than all other types of adoption, many choose other means of adoption. This is because many people want newborns of a particular race, and foster care adoption houses children of all ages and races. Unfortunately, these children need a home just as much as all other children up for adoption.

A second way to adopt is through a private agency. Private agencies act as intermediaries between children and prospective parents in the matching process. Many choose this medium because the agency guides parents through the entire adoption process.

A third way to adopt is independently, i.e. privately. It is legal in most states, though Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, and Massachusetts do not allow it; the laws surrounding independent adoption vary from state-to-state. This process involves prospective parents independently seeking out biological parents who have put their child up for adoption; lawyers are used as intermediaries. Many choose this means of adoption because agencies have policies regarding parent-criteria and prospective parent-biological parent contact both during and after the adoption. Independent adoption allows both prospective parents and biological parents to set their own criteria. Prospective parents control the search process and have direct contact with the biological parents; both parties also decide if the child will have contact with the biological parents after the adoption process is finalized.

A fourth way to adopt is internationally. China, Russia, Guatemala, Korea, and Ethiopia are common countries from which children are adopted; however, about 80 other countries around the world adopt out children to parents from different countries. In 2010, over 11,000 children were adopted from other countries. Generally, parents use adoption services similar to domestic adoption services. Many choose to adopt internationally to help children in desperate situations; many times, children are undernourished, under-educated, or have disabilities. Others choose this process because, depending on country, it can be less costly.

Amber Paley is a guest post and article writer bringing to us information and statistics on child adoptions. Amber also writes about abuse in nursing homes.

Haven’t Seen The Last Of Me-Cher


I haven’t done one of these posts in awhile and I thought that I would do one for today’s post. I recorded the movie Burlesque on my DVR and I fell in love with this song from the movie. I usually don’t like Cher but the lyrics of this song really touched me. I wish I could have heard this song while I was pregnant or any other time that I have been depressed and having a hard time dealing with life.

Quote Of The Week

I chose this quote this week because I have been missing Melissa quite a bit the last few days. There really sin’t much to say about this quote. If anyone has any quotes that they love please leave them in the comments!

Mess

Don’t mind the mess! I messed up my blog so now I have to re-install it all. I am hoping to get it back to normal soon.

Ericka’s Story

I was only fifteen going on sixteen when I met my baby’s father. I had a troubling childhood and was failing high school. Nick had a troubled childhood with his mom and dad never being there, dropping out of high school when he was only sixteen. When he walked into my life I felt everything was gonna be better, due to us having a similar pasts. We were “dating” for about three months when his mom left him for some guy she had met on the Internet and left Nick with his step-dad and to fend for himself. I begged my mom for him to move in with us due to him really not having a home. She really didn’t like the idea at all but made rules and regulations that I guess she assumed we would follow. We were young and in “love” and never followed my mothers rules that she had set when he did move in. He would sneak into my room late at night (he was supposed to sleep on the couch) and we always snuck out together even though it was against my mothers rules.
Months flew by like nothing and I kept falling further behind in school because all my time was with him and I could have cared less about school. I finally told my mom I was going to drop out of high school and just get a full time job, which I did down the street at Dairy Queen. A week later (kinda weird right?) I started not feeling right. I woke up morning and was throwing up, I couldn’t control it and did it all day. My mom knew something wasn’t right and took me straight to the doctor in which they made me pee in a cup then took my blood. When the doctor came in and said ” I got some not so good news for you.” My mom and I both looked at each other with a blank stare. And I said ” what is the news.” The doctor said ” your pregnant.” I flipped out and all I could do was cry. This isn’t at all what I wanted and I was too young. When we got back to our house I told Nick and he didn’t even know what to say. We were sitting on the porch that night and I will never forget that night my mom told me “everything happens for a reason.” Two months had passed by without even thinking what was growing in my stomach, my mom thought that it would be better if we moved closer to our family so that they could help. A month later my brother came down and helped us pack the U Haul to move to South Carolina. Nick and I had talked all about this day, a week before he proposed. The deal was he would stay in Missouri and I would go with my mom and eventually he would move to South Carolina too.
When we moved here my mom looked into homes for young girls that are pregnant and not knowing what they want. The first home I moved into I liked but it had its pros and cons just like everything else. Its pros were it got me into cpcc to get my GED and con it was like a prison. You had to do everything when they said to do it. Just a pretty strict place for girls that are already uncertain about things and uncomfortable about the situation that they are in. So I told my mom about everything that was going on and she looked into other homes mean while looking into adoption agencies (I did not know about this).
My mom called one day and told me she had a surprise for me and that I needed to be ready in thirty minutes, I was all excited till we pulled up in front of an adoption agency. We went in and this girl with a really positive attitude and big red hair greeted us. We went into her office and needless to say I had nothing to say to this woman because this was kinda forced on me. About a week later I met the director of another maturity home even though I was seven months pregnant I still was unsure about what I wanted to do with my unborn child, so they took me in. Once again I was faced with this women with a positive attitude and big red hair. After a couple of weeks sitting there and going through the options I did have I went out to lunch with the big red haired lady. We had a really good conversation and she never forced me into a decision she just told me the pros about adoption and all of its options. I figured out that even if I placed my unborn child with someone that I could have contact, a little, or none at all but the decision was all up to me in which I chose an open adoption because I felt I wanted him to still know that this decision out of love and not because I didn’t love him.
After careful consideration and knowing that I had to think of my unborn child and not myself, went to my moms that weekend and got onto the adoption agencies website and looked at families and chose three that I would look at there scrapbook (what makes them , there family life, just everything about them. ) So I went to the office and looked over all the scrapbooks and the nice positive attitude big red hair lady said I pulled this one for you to. So I had four to choose from and I narrowed it down to two, Ryder’s (my son) family is the first I had a meeting with and after our three hour questions back and forth conversation, I knew they were the ones that would raise my unborn child. Ryder’s mom from there on out was at every doctors appointment. We found out I was getting induced on the 19th and we would all meet at the hospital on the 20th. After one full night of them trying to get me to go into labor, I was tired and really hungry and young I asked my doctor if he could just do a c-section. He really didn’t want to do it because I was so young and he believed it was the medicine talking instead of the real Ericka but he did it anyways. Ryder Hayden was born on December 21,2005 at 4:22 pm 9 lbs 6 oz and 21 inches long. Even though I was in recovery for two and a half hours his mom and dad got to meet him right away because of my mom. I remember the next three days were really getting to know his mom and dad letting them get to know there son which was such a pleasure. Seeing the look on there faces was priceless and I’m so glad still to this day that i was able to give them a gift so priceless.
I remember the night before we all went home which was the hardest night of the whole thing not because I was upset with my decision but because I knew I was giving him the best life he could ever imagine. We all went home on December 24th. He will be six this year and I still cant believe how much time has flown but I would never go back on my decision. I have loved every moment of being able to call and get his updates and being able to talk to him when he wants to. I love getting the new pictures of him just to see how much he has grown and he is actually starting to look like his parents. (Crazy right?) I haven’t seen Ryder in a couple of years because I felt like I should let them live there life and he know because of his parents that he is adopted and I know when the time is right we will be able to see each other again.

House Of Secrets

The cover and excerpt from the book were taken off of the website that gave me the book to review.

They vowed, as children, to be silent…

When her father orchestrates a surprise trip to the summer house of her childhood, Bailee Cooper is unprepared for what follows. What is intended to be a happy reunion for Bailee and her sisters quickly becomes shrouded by memories from the past.

Together again, the three sisters sift through their recollections of fifteen years ago…of an ill mother, and of their father making a desperate choice. One sister believes their silence must end and the truth be revealed. But they soon come to wonder if they can trust their memories.

Mark Delahunt arrives in the wake of this emotional turmoil. Determined to win Bailee’s affection, Mark becomes a strong fortress for her in this time of confusion, and what was once a tentative promise begins to take root and grow. Caught between the past and an uncertain future, can Bailee let God guide her to healing…or will she risk losing the chance to embrace love?

My Review

I can’t saw enough good things about this book. I read the whole book in 3 days. It was an amazing book. It really made me think about things in my own life. I also now have the motivation to make some changes that I need to make in my life. I usually don’t like books like this one but I couldn’t put it down and I learned so much about myself because the main character in the book is my age and has a personality like mine. I am not going into details because I don’t want to give the story away to anyone who may want to read the book.

Memories. . .

I have had this post in my drafts for awhile now and I figured today is as good as any to post it. If you have other memories of Melissa please feel free to leave them and I will add them to this post.

Kathy Stricker left this message on Melissa’s Facebook page for me to use.

I remember the first time Melissa wrote on Facebook. It was beautiful.Melissa really touched my heart. I could feel her emotions..just flow out of her. I remember telling her “you can’t stop you have to keep on writing”. Melissa was so surprised by my reaction as I was by her response.I told her no..you keep going your Amazing. I believe in Melissa’s writing she touched all our hearts in a very special way. Melissa I will miss you so much TYSM for touching my heart & having me in your life…RIP xo

Stacey Burgess- Emailed me this about Melissa

So many of us here at her University were shocked by her passing, and I wanted someone to know that she touched my life just by knowing her. She was not only determined and motivated to be successful, but she shared so many stories with me of people that she helped through her blog. We would sit on the phone for hours, forgetting that we were supposed to be talking about her enrollment in school, and instead, laughing and talking about happy times, or discussing life’s tougher situations. I have admired her strength, and feel that I have learned a lot about life and survival and loving others… just by talking with her. I want her family to know that Melissa really will live on in the hearts of those, like myself, who she touched. She was so humble and sweet that she probably never realized how great of an impact she really had on other people! I will always smile when I think of the talks that we had, and I hope that time, love, laughter, and happy memories can heal the pain that you are all feeling.

Gala Gardiner-Emailed me this about Melissa

I don’t have a ton of memories. I recently started following her blog and shared a few emails back and forth. Saddens me to not be uplifted by her any longer. She seemed to always have the brightest things to say on the days when I needed it most

David Merriman- He emailed me this about Melissa

I am Melissa’s academic counselor for her psychology program. I only had a few conversations with Melissa but she struck a chord with me the first time we spoke because of her pride in the advocacy work she was doing through her blog and social networking. It was clear over the phone how much this work helped her overcome her challenges and how much strength she gained while helping others find their strength. She was always one of my favorite students to talk to because of her positive energy.

It is unfortunate I didn’t get to work with her through to her degree but I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to work with her even for a short time. She is a great example of the amazing things we can accomplish when we resign ourselves to never give up.

If anyone else has any memories please feel free to either email me about them or leave them in the comments and I will update this post.

Review-Pattern Of Wounds

This is first information if from the website that sent me the book.

This is first information if from the website that sent me the book.

A brutal murder.
An unraveling conviction.

To catch the killer, Roland March must decipher the
PATTERN OF WOUNDS

It’s Christmas in Houston, and homicide detective Roland March is on the hunt for a killer. A young woman’s brutal stabbing in an affluent neighborhood bears all the hallmarks of a serial murder. The only problem is that March sent the murderer to prison ten years ago. Is it a copycat–or did March convict the wrong man?

Alienated from his colleagues and with a growing rift in his marriage, March receives a series of taunting messages from the killer. The bodies pile up, the pressure builds, and the violence reaches too close to home. Up against an unfathomable evil, March struggles against the clock to understand the hidden message in the pattern of wounds.

My Review

When I received the book I was excited because it is the type of book that I love to read. I love the thrill type books. This book is well written but I personally couldn’t get into the characters. It is an easily followed story and a mystery thriller but there are just books that I can’t seem to get into and this was one of them. I don’t have much to say because I had a hard time getting through the book.

Operation Smile

As any college student knows other than tuition the books are the most expensive part of going to school. I can remember when I was in college spending around $400 for book. I really wish I would have know about CampusBookRentals.com when I was in school. They rent textbooks for cheaper than what it would cost to buy them. After you are done with the class you just mail them the books back and rent what you need for the next semester. If you decide you want to keep the book you just pay the difference.

What makes this even a better company is that they have partnered with Operation Smile. For those that haven’t heard of Operation Smile before they perform surgeries on children who are born with cleft. They are known as an international charity for children. They have been in existence 1982. Children that are born with a cleft life or cleft palate can be sunned because the look different than other children. Also most of the time the child’s parents can’t afford to have the surgeries done to fix them.

CampusBookRentals.com is going to donate a portion of the money that you pay to rent books from them to Operation Smile! Not only will get books for a cheaper price you will also be helping out children all over the world.

If you are a college student please at least look into renting your books and help raise money for this great charity.

Disclosure: I was not paid to write this review. All opinions are my own.
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