MS Rant

I try to keep my rants off of this blog but I think people that have MS need to see that some days having this disease totally sucks!  I don’t want people to think that because I tend to not post about those days that they don’t exist.  Right now I am struggling because I have to except how I am feeling as the new normal and I don’t want to.  No one wants to know that this is as good as it gets.  I am at the point right now where I need to except it and I don’t want to.  I want to tell the disease to go fly a kite and go away.  I am 25 years old and I don’t want to be dealing with this disease!!!!!  I have knowing that this disease takes so much away from people who have it.  I look at others with the disease and get mad at myself because the are worse off than I am and yet I am still bitching and pissed off because of how I feel.  I know I should be grateful that I am not more disabled but instead I am pissed off that I have to deal with this disease at all.  I was doing so well at staying positive with how things are going and now I am back to when I got diagnosed and not dealing well with it all.  I want to bury my head in the sand and just ignore it but I also know that I can’t do that.  Part of this I am sure is just being 25 and being to damn stubborn for my own good.  I will never totally except this disease!  I know I can’t give up on treatment since it working but hell I am tired of going once a month and having it done.  I am tired of worrying about PML and the disease getting worse.  I am tired of people hearing about my diagnoses and being scared to date me or even talk to me.  I mean good hell it isn’t going to kill them hell it might not even kill me.  I am tired of all the crap that comes along with this damn disease.  I am so tired of being in pain and my doctor not giving me what I need to deal with the pain.  I am tired of being on all the medications that I am on to treat how the MS has made me feel.  I guess it boils down to the fact that I am tired of the disease!

Okay I am going to leave it at that.  Hopefully get this out will help me move on from this point!

Margaret Tidwell

I am a 32-year-old blogger. I write about my life and my struggles with Multiple Sclerosis. I also am a huge book worm and I have been doing book reviews for years now. I also blog about adoption, Multiple Sclerosis, and things that go on in my life.

Margaret Tidwell

Margaret Tidwell

Margaret Tidwell

Margaret Tidwell

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Comments

  1. Jared and Emily says:

    Hey Margaret! Not sure what to say beyond the cliche' sympathetic responses, but I just want to let you know that I love you and I wish I could be there for you more. You amaze Margaret!

  2. Melissa Mashburn says:

    I understand having to get used to a new normal. I understand getting tired of treatments and meds. I understand diseases interfering with relationships.

    I wish that I could do or say something that would help ease you through this rough spot. Just know I do think about you and pray for you every day.

  3. I completely understand everything you are saying here , and it sucks! this disease is horrible! I am tired of being in pain constantly! Feeling sick all the time! The fatigue! Agh!!
    I had mt symptoms 4 years before my DX , and its been horrible! I want to feel normal again, and do the things I loved, and enjoyed so much before this disease took over my life, and now I have a disability! I have a hard time excepting that the way I feel now is the new normal. IT SUCKS! It doesn't get better with age either. I am very happy to know that I found your blog. Its helps a lot to know I am not alone, and someone else understands completely!

    Thank you Margaret
    I will always keep you in my thoughts and prayers 🙂

    One Love

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